Social Climber

You see them rollin' . . they hatin'. . .

or really. . . they are everyone's bff.

The Social Climber.

Now I live in a small town that is growing. There are old town people and new townies. I personally like the blend and the growth. I love culture. I love small town feel. I love big city feel. Fortunately I live about 20 minutes outside of a large city. I can be out in cow pasture quicker than Yadier Molina can run the bases as Busch Stadium during a grand slam. yes. . friends... St. Louis, MO by way of Illinois.

I am finding this weird thing happening right now. My friend, Dana, established the term "Cul de Sac Cougar."  We've all seen them. Some of us may even be guilty of it. The woman that sits in her driveway sipping wine and gossiping and bitching about her husband, another neighbor, or even her best girlfriend to anyone who will listen. The one you see everywhere with different people every night. She is the one who will smile in your face then turn around and say something about you to someone else if it means gaining a friend.

The truth is, I was one of these people. Why? Because I hated me. It wasn't that there was something wrong with others, but I felt others were to good to truly accept me and be my friend. It took me some self healing and a smack in the face when I was gossiping to really pull my shit together.  I spoke of a woman that really pissed me off. I spoke freely to some mutual friends who had admitted from time to time that this woman pissed them off too. . . so I joined in the girls gross gossip club. . . but then guess what happened?

wait for it. . .

ALL of these women went back and told the woman everything I had said and seemed to have omitted their own verbal vomit.  I've apologized to the woman. I'm a grownup like that. I'm glad my conscious is clear and from that point on I vowed never to speak ill of someone rather to actually voice the problem specifically to the person.  I know, big girl panties, right?

SO. . now that my eyes are open, the social climbing that is happening is ridiculous! I don't know EVERYONE in my town, but when I have to introduce myself to someone 5 times and each time the person acts as if its the first time I've met them? What gives?  I never forget a face. I sometimes forget names but never a face.  Is it because you don't find me interesting? Is it because you don't find that knowing me will be helpful to you at some point?  I am intentional when engaging in conversations with people. Touch, eye contact, tone of voice, all of which used to make a connection. I walk away with something with every new meeting. I view meeting new people as a GODSEND.  It was intentional. It was a gift. Its either me showing them something or them showing me something. Never listening to the big superficial gripes about spouses and others, but true communication about themselves . I believe its the universes way of showing me how small I am in a big world and really. . . I'm okay with small. Small groups. Small family. Small town. No ladders to climb but rather step stools.