Vacation

Family vacations are absolutely a necessity of life. Free from electronics and the burdens of daily life, we really learned a lot about one another. We had so many seemingly meaningless conversations but they mean the entire world to those two little spawn brains. We went to DisneyWorld by way of Atlanta. Yes we drove. The kids were excited by each state border we found. The littlest kept saying how beautiful the mountains were while our eldest was more excited about cityscapes.  Really, the highlights of our trip didnt even take place in the Disney Parks but in the car and hotel rooms.

Seven learned that he could call ten a doodyhead while he was in ear buds and he would not receive any backlash. .

Ten loved Atlanta. Big buildings. The Georgia dome. The traffic. He enjoyed jumping  from bed to bed in the hotel room. He also learned that in Georgia the last word of each sentence is not completely pronounced.  It tends to drop off.

Kids still getting along. It was crazy. I cant believe after that long of a time period with in your face stimulation, these boys never fought.

So many other things, but two of my fave kidisms:

Seven: Dad when you snore in the hotel you wake everyone up. So tonight try to snore in your head, okay?

Ten: Mom, if you work more you will get paid more, right? *yes honey*
Well we should move here. There is a ton of work here in Tennessee. :) Dentistry he noticed way to many mouths in Tennessee.

I loved this trip and I can't wait for the next.

Social Climber

You see them rollin' . . they hatin'. . .

or really. . . they are everyone's bff.

The Social Climber.

Now I live in a small town that is growing. There are old town people and new townies. I personally like the blend and the growth. I love culture. I love small town feel. I love big city feel. Fortunately I live about 20 minutes outside of a large city. I can be out in cow pasture quicker than Yadier Molina can run the bases as Busch Stadium during a grand slam. yes. . friends... St. Louis, MO by way of Illinois.

I am finding this weird thing happening right now. My friend, Dana, established the term "Cul de Sac Cougar."  We've all seen them. Some of us may even be guilty of it. The woman that sits in her driveway sipping wine and gossiping and bitching about her husband, another neighbor, or even her best girlfriend to anyone who will listen. The one you see everywhere with different people every night. She is the one who will smile in your face then turn around and say something about you to someone else if it means gaining a friend.

The truth is, I was one of these people. Why? Because I hated me. It wasn't that there was something wrong with others, but I felt others were to good to truly accept me and be my friend. It took me some self healing and a smack in the face when I was gossiping to really pull my shit together.  I spoke of a woman that really pissed me off. I spoke freely to some mutual friends who had admitted from time to time that this woman pissed them off too. . . so I joined in the girls gross gossip club. . . but then guess what happened?

wait for it. . .

ALL of these women went back and told the woman everything I had said and seemed to have omitted their own verbal vomit.  I've apologized to the woman. I'm a grownup like that. I'm glad my conscious is clear and from that point on I vowed never to speak ill of someone rather to actually voice the problem specifically to the person.  I know, big girl panties, right?

SO. . now that my eyes are open, the social climbing that is happening is ridiculous! I don't know EVERYONE in my town, but when I have to introduce myself to someone 5 times and each time the person acts as if its the first time I've met them? What gives?  I never forget a face. I sometimes forget names but never a face.  Is it because you don't find me interesting? Is it because you don't find that knowing me will be helpful to you at some point?  I am intentional when engaging in conversations with people. Touch, eye contact, tone of voice, all of which used to make a connection. I walk away with something with every new meeting. I view meeting new people as a GODSEND.  It was intentional. It was a gift. Its either me showing them something or them showing me something. Never listening to the big superficial gripes about spouses and others, but true communication about themselves . I believe its the universes way of showing me how small I am in a big world and really. . . I'm okay with small. Small groups. Small family. Small town. No ladders to climb but rather step stools.

Strength

The strongest have seen a personal hell. They are survivors. They walk through the decay and crumbled ruins only to show their beautiful smiles as they carry loved ones with them. They see not the wreckage around them, but the beauty in what will be. So if a woman gives you attitude, suspect that its where she came from. Help change her vision of where she is going. Give her a map that shows a different path of greatness.

Songs

There are some songs in life that if you don't have a memory attached to it you have no soul. I would consider myself fortunate to grow up in the era that I did. I went from 80s hair bands, boys bands, grunge, to R&B. On the way home Skid Row's "I Remember You" came on the radio. I was singing along lightly and the next thing I know. . .boom. . . I was transcended through time. The volume of the radio went up, my hair got really really big, I looked down and I was wearing painted on leather pants on my spender thighs, and my off-key voice screeched loud and proud. 

I am so tired of the negativity that seems to be crippling my friends and family lately. I know they say misery loves company, but my GOD, what does it get you? We expect to feed one another to a point.

"I hate my thighs."... You have great thighs. (begging for compliments)
"I have a hangnail." ... It's red and infected. It's probably MRSA. (i'm dying)

Seriously folks.. What gives? I refuse to wallow in everyones snark for a while. I know I am a pretty positive person and my mind is easily swayed by a tornado of negative emotion. Sometimes I feel like I am standing in the eye of a hurricane. The negative people around me sobbing, crying, yelling about their lives and their "oh my god the world is falling" around them and I am standing in the calm center saying, "YEAH. . . but look where we are going! This could be great!!!"

I don't know if its the fact that I've gone through some pretty heavy situations over the last couple of years (really my entire life but who's keeping tabs), but I am living a life of gratitude right now. Grateful for EVERYTHING good and "bad."  Sometimes the bad isn't bad at all.

My kids give me a lot of hope and outlook.  They don't see all of the problems. They are just living the dream.  I am now living the life I imagined. Free from judgement of others from the amount of money I make, the kind of car I drive, what I do for a living, who my family is, how much I weigh, if I have a damn pimple and I'm not wearing makeup in public. My happiness is deep. My positive outlook doesn't just sit on my skin, but radiates in and out of my body and hopefully touching others (in my mind). Once I learned to love myself and be free from worry,  I began truly living.

FingerGunFriday = Quality Time Social Media Post

Mr is working the afternoon shift. One of the benefits of having a shift working husband is the creative quality time we have. For example, today we had a picnic on the floor while I've been watching Dexter and doing laundry. He has been scrolling the ipad for the latest and greatest camera gizmos. (seriously I don't understand his obsession with photo lenses but whatever they make him happy) We've hugged. We've cuddled. We've laughed. We've made future plans.  All perfect for a quality time love for one another. He is my soulmate. . . imperfect and perfect in everyway. 

Full Moon or Zombie Apocalypse

A gorgeous full moon this eve. So many crazy things today:

*Makeup and Hair went together nicely.
*I hit all green lights into work.
*All four wheels worked on my shopping cart.
*I was left with a full toilet paper roll in each bathroom I went to.
*Children listened.
*No toothpaste left in the sink by said children.
*Boss laughed at my musings (to be described in a later blog)
*Scaredy cat patient wasn't so scaredy.
*I am Premenstrual and I am not Bitchy at all today.

Cheers to that! Yay full moon!!